• Nancy Burnett

Pick your battles

Updated: Mar 12, 2018

Parenting after divorce is extremely difficult. You are faced with learning how to work together with an ex-spouse who may be hostile, hurt, manipulative, etc. But you have to find a way to manage for the benefit of your child. In addition, you are faced with a child who may be feeling scared, guilty, or angry and may also be manipulative.


In this environment, it is important to choose carefully what issues are important enough to risk conflict. Peace is important but not the only factor. Some issues are worth a battle. For example, where your child is going to go to school or his religious upbringing. Other issues are not worth the battle, such as who gets the child's hair cut or whether the other side brings his or her new love to a school play.


In other words, pick your battles very carefully. Decide when you are not around your ex-spouse or child what issues are worth fighting for and which ones are not.


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